The Eschalot Home | FAQ | Poll | Book | Archive
Eschalot (EH'-shuh-lot') : A mild form of the onion.
We mock the news, so you don't have to!
 

Home

FAQ

Poll

Book

Archive




Let us send you an email when a new story is published! Enter your email address above and press Alert Me!
privacy policy


 Members Online: 
65 Million Dollar Lottery Check Bounces

CLEVELAND, Ohio - Lottery officials were defiant today when an angry lotto winner faced them with the returned check, unpaid due to insufficient funds. "I don't bother trying to cash checks from my cousin, its easier to view them as expensive bookmarks than to watch them bounce. But I didn't expect it from the Lottery Commission," said Rebecca Jemison, the holder of the winning ticket. This lottery payout has been fraught with controversy, with one woman claiming she bought the winning ticket, but lost it, then a man claiming to be the owner of the store that sold the ticket only to be found out not to be. "This we didn't need," said one lottery official.

"We told her when we handed her the check that she shouldn't cash it until Monday," said Tyler Johnson, comptroller for the lottery commission. "We tried to post date the check to Monday, but Mrs. Jemison said that was illegal. I told her I didn't think it was, but she insisted. She promised, promised she wouldn't cash it until Monday. And now here we are." According to the commission, the funds are now available, however Jemison's bank charges $29 for depositing a bad check. She wants the commission to pay the fee.

"It's only fair. They caused the problem. If you don't have the funds, don't write the check," said Jemison. She says she'll take the commission to small claims court if she has to.

"We love the Jemison's," said the branch manager of the bank Jemison has done business with for twenty years, "but our policy is to charge the fee to everyone. Even if the president of the bank deposits a bad check, he would have to pay the fee."

As a sign of reconciliation, Elecia Battle -- the woman that falsely claimed to have lost the winning ticket, has offered to pay the fee. "It's the least I can do," she said, "I feel just terrible about what I done. It would be like a truce, I hope the Jemison's let me do it and accept my apology."

Drew Carey, comedian famous for espousing his hometown of Cleveland, had no comment.


TOP STORIES
   


Copyright 2003-2004, The Eschalot (http://TheEschalot.com), All Rights Reserved