BAGHDAD, Iraq - The fledgling Iraqi government has offered its "deepest apologies and regrets" for the arrest and incarceration of Guernsey's Housing deputy minister Mark Dorey. "The minister's short stature, his angular features, even his moustache made him indistinguishable from Izzat Ibrahim al-Douri, one of Saddam's top lieutenants," said Defense Minister Hazim al-Shalaan, "The resemblance is so striking, we can hardly be held liable for the mistake." The minister promised the immediate release and swift return of Dorey to Guernsey.

"This is just a bloody cock-up of the absolute highest order." -- Housing Development Secretary Aiken Dickson

Dorey was on a consulting mission sponsored by the island government of Guernsey. A native of Sark, Dorey has served as the Housing deputy minister for three years. "When the mainland asked us to send a representative volunteer, Mark was the obvious choice," said Housing Development Secretary Aiken Dickson, "He's one of the few among us that spoke passable Arabic. Beyond that, he had a look that we thought would let him fit in. This is just a bloody cock-up of the absolute highest order."

Initial reports out of Iraq suggested that al-Douri was in custody, though this was immediately questioned. "Intelligence strongly suggests that Al-Douri is not currently in Iraq," a senior Pentagon official commented, "Thus any report suggesting his capture within its borders would be greeted with skepticism. That it was a case of mistaken identity is absolutely not a surprise."

Dorey is married and has at least two children. Calls left at the home of Mark Dorey were not returned.
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